I once heard from somebody that babies are really kind of just drunk middle-aged men when you think about it. I find this to be extremely accurate. They waddle around with their bellies hanging out, milk (beer) bottles in hand, yelling incomprehensible words at people and chasing the nearest thing with boobs. They have an extremely hard time keeping their balance and will just point at things and mumble, expecting you to understand. They will whip it out and pee without hesitation, and shat in their pants if needed. If they drink too much milk (beer), they throw it up. However, they are experts of the “puke and rally” technique, and soon will be back at their shenanigans as if nothing happened. They will laugh, cry, dance, and fall asleepβ all in a thirty minute span. If that doesn’t describe someone who is completely hammered, I don’t know what does.
I guess you start your life acting that way and you end it in the same manner.
I am no exception to this apparently, as my parents have told me that when I was a baby, I loved to stumble around in my diaper, holding my bottle and dancing around with my milk (beer) belly. They also said that I absolutely loved the movie Toy Story, and I would rarely be seen without my Buzz Lightyear and Woody dolls. (For those of you that don’t know what Toy Story is, let me know in the comment section what planet you’re from.)
At that point in my life, my language skills obviously weren’t fully developed, yet I still loved showing people my Buzz Lightyear and Woody dolls. According to my parents, when I would meet someone, I would say the most drunken old man thing possible.
“Hello, this is my Bud Light, wanna see my Woody?”
Excellent, lol
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Thanks so much haha!
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πππππ love the Bud light and woodie bit. Can’t tolerate drunk men.
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Lol glad you got a laugh out of it! π thanks for the comment!
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πππ The Woody part was just hilarious. Quite a way of looking at things you have! Looking forward to more laughs!!!
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Thanks man! I’m glad you enjoyed it and hopefully I’ll be able to supply more! ππΌ
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That was the best thing I have read all day. haha You definitely have my subscription.
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Wow that’s awesome to hear! Thanks so much! ππΌπ
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π€£π€£π€£ππΌ
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This is so true hahaha I love it! Thank you for introducing me to your wonderful blog π
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Of course! Thank you so much for the comment I’m glad you like my stuff!!
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I watched Toy story when I was 5. I also liked the animated series. Childhood was good, not so sure about nostalgia.
Thanks for the article. It was hilarious.
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Thanks so much and I’m glad you enjoyed it!!
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LMAO! This is so funny!! I’ve worked with very young kids and this is spot on. Thanks for the laugh!
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Great to hear! Glad you could relate to it!!
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Lol! I’m from Pluto, lmao ππ
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How’s the weather over there?? ππ
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It’s winter here π
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Lol, stay warm then! Haha
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Very good sir!
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Thanks so much!
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This was hilariously accurate ππ
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Thank you so much! πππΌ
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Omg! That last line. I’m dying right now. Omg Haha! Well done man! It was the funniest thing I read all day. Great post! Hahaha
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That’s awesome to hear lol, I’m glad I could provide some laughs! Thanks for the comment! ππΌππΌ
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Ahahahah OMG!!! I loved every bit of it, definitely worth a follow! Can’t wait to read more, keep ’em coming
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That’s awesome to hear thanks so much! I will keep them coming! π
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This is so funny! And so true! Loved it!
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Glad to hear it thanks so much!
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Bahahaha! I babysit old men for a living and this really resonates with me!
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Glad it was relatable for you! Thanks for the comment!
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Your sense of humor is impeccable. I love the way you look at things.
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Wow I really appreciate that! That’s what I’m trying to do is open up people’s minds to find the humor in things lol! Thanks so much for the comment!
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Yet another, in a long string of comments, that just absolutely must leave a post to tell you that YOU ARE SO FUNNY….strike that, your writing is exceeded only by your wit! Thanks for posting!
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Wow thanks so much for the support! I’m just happy to be able to provide some laughter for the day! πππΌ
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You’re killing me. lolol! I will never be able to look at my baby nephew the same way.
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lol that’s hilarious ππ glad you liked it!
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Love it! Also, I am glad I know which planet I come from. Yes. Toy Story. Seen ’em all…
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Thank you!! I’m glad you know what planet you hail from lol!
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I. Love. This. I immediately got the visual!
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Thanks so much! Glad you could picture the drunk babies like I can ππ
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Oh, thank you!
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No problem!
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Yes! Yes! Yes! This beyond humour. Thank you.
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Thanks so much I’m glad you enjoyed it!! ππΌ
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some parts reminds me of my little guy hwhe ! great work!!!
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Thats awesome! Thanks so much!
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you did not say that! I confess I never really watched Toy Story. Incidentally, it occurred to me today that babies are spontaneously jiggling jelly dumplings, basically. You make a strong argument though.
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Lol!!
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Lol, I never thought of it like that. Funny!
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Thanks so much! ππΌ
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That title had me cracking up as tried picture it.
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Lol it’s great when you picture it in your head ππ
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Love this π
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Thank you!!
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Loved this and will follow you. Keep up the great work!
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Thanks so much! I’ll try!
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That first paragraph is pretty great — convincing, startling, the words of a man who has taken one too many red pills. Very well done!
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lol thanks so much glad you enjoyed it!!
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This is funny and true lol
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Thanks so much!!
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π€Looking back I may have been one tπ€£π€£ π
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ππ I bet you were!!
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Lool, thanks for making my day. Can I reblog?
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Glad you liked it! And of course you can!
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πππΌ
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So true! Mine has a little milk belly already and breaks wind like a man! Haha
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Lol!! That’s hilarious! Glad you know what I’m talking about!
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So true! “Yelling incomprehensible words and chasing everything with boobs” pretty much sums it up, great stuff.
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Glad you thought so! Thanks for reading!!!
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I just read this to my husband, who tends to drink a lot, and he said he has to give you props! This is soooo funny!
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That’s awesome! π thanks for reading and sharing! I’m glad you guys enjoyed it!!
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Yup π
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