If you want peace and quiet, do you start lighting off fireworks? If you want to stay awake, do you take sleeping pills? What if you’re a vegetarian, then would you make a steak for dinner? If you aren’t clinically insane, you probably answered “no” to all those questions. Well, here’s another question, why do people get into a swimming pool if they don’t want to get wet?


I can’t count the number of times I’ve actually annoyed someone in a pool by accidentally getting a minuscule amount of water on their upper body, or God forbid splashing them and getting the dreaded water on their face. Yeah, the water. You know, the stuff they’re sitting in.


“Oh, but I don’t want to get my hair wet.”


Well if you don’t want to get your hair wet then a pool probably isn’t the best place to be, is it, bud? Last time I checked, a pool is a pretty wet place. Also, hair dryers, towels, air, etc. All very effective for removing water from hair.


People who think like this are the same people that throw away the crust on their pizza or only eat the inside of their bread. The very same unstable individuals that order a quesadilla with “light cheese”. I mean seriously, just get freakin’ burrito.


If you don’t want to get wet in a pool, then why don’t you just go sit in a bathtub? Oh, the waters too hot in a bathtub? (Yeah, I’ve actually heard this excuse before.) Well, there’s this really cool thing called using the cold water valve! You can even use the cold water and hot water valves at the same time to ensure the temperature is to your liking! Oh, but you want to be able to sit in the sun? Well, now you’re just suffering from a bad case of first world problems. There are people starving in the world, not knowing when their next meal might be, and you’re mad because you can’t be in the sun with half your body in water and the other half completely void of all liquid or precipitation. You’re what I would call a human dingleberry.

Anyways, I don’t want to rant for too long. I’m also hungry, and I think I’m going to make a quesadilla. With plenty of cheese.

75 thoughts on “Dry Water

  1. I had some chicks at the pool get crabby with me when they got splashed, because I was diving and they were standing near the diving board. That is like a person complaining about getting squirted when they get in a water pistol fight.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. hahahahaha!!! I’ve always question people with this feeling you pondered.

    Why be annoyed about getting your hair wet if you are going to get wet later on or take a shower? what’s the difference? Humans sometimes, they don’t make absolute sense. hahahaha!!!

    Love this post my friend. hahahaha!!!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. How’s this for an exchange of culture and learning, in the form of “Pearlie” which in Orkney means sheep turd and as Orkney is one huge toilet for sheep, pearlies tend to be everywhere there. 🙂


  3. Spot on! My other half doesn’t like getting her head wet when in the pool or the sea…apparently this is because of washing and drying her long hair taking ages. So that must be it…inconvenience. I roll my eyes and sigh. 🙄


  4. Since I don’t know how to swim, I make it a point to maintain a suitably respectable distance from the pool whenever we are on a vacation. Never understood the fascination of sitting by the pool and drinking without EVER getting into the pool.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I so have ranted about this to myself. Had no idea it was a universal problem. The pool I go to is a glorified bathtub full of fat ladies that love to gossip and waddle ALL over it. So it’s not easy to swim in that pool esp since if you splash ’em its ‘oh so offensive’! Barf!
    In my head you now have the personality and voice of Donal Logue. Cheers!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh, I’ve heard those. I once overheard someone say that he wanted to play in the pool but not get his feet wet. Well, I guess, someone could dangle him from a hook….

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Lol this is hilarious. But it’s just annoying to deal with people like this (especially if they'[re you’re clients) after some time. Anyhow, I tell myself what they do isn’t my business unless they affect the quality of my life. And yes, just laugh it out.

    Liked by 1 person

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