When you were a little kid, did you ever just wish you could get behind the wheel of a car and drive to wherever you wanted to go? Did you long to be able to take off, not needing your parent’s approval or permission, and head down to your favorite toy store or Fast-food restaurant? I’m sure all of us felt that way at some point in our childhoods. But of course, we could never make that far off dream a reality, as we all would have to wait many years to finally be able to drive a vehicle. All of us except one 8-year-old boy from Ohio.

According to a news article I recently read, this 8-year-old boy I’m referring to, drove his dad’s car over a mile to the nearest McDonald’s to get his sister some food. How did he learn to drive you ask?

YouTube, of course. Where else?

Apparently, after his sister informed him that she was hungry, he took to YouTube and searched up a video on how to drive. Cause, what else would an 8-year-old do? Be a normal 8-year-old and ignore his sister, crap his pants, then continue to watch cartoons? Nah, not this kid. After watching the video, he and his sister hopped into dad’s car and took off. Witnesses say he obeyed all traffic laws, successfully made a few turns, and drove the speed limit. What else would you expect from this badass mofo of a kid? The police eventually got involved, but not after the 8-year-old savage and his sister finished their cheeseburgers. The Most Interesting Kid in the World then told the cops he learned to drive from YouTube before flicking his cigarette at them and hopping back into the vehicle and burning out. (Okay, I made up the part about the cigarette and burning out, but that’s the version of the story I’m going to believe.)

First of all, this kid is 100 percent growing up to be Chuck Norris. If I wanted food at 8-years-old, I would probably beg for mommy to make me some, and if she didn’t, then I would cry and look for skittles in the couch. What grade is an 8-year-old in? I think it’s 3rd. Dude, in 3rd grade my mom was still dressing me and combing my hair. I was completely useless. This little guy is operating vehicles and using the Internet extremely effectively. He’s even selflessly providing for his sister. When I was that age, the only time I ever interacted with my sister was to call her a poopface. (I’m beginning to look like quite the little douchebag.)

This kid is the type who could be abandoned in the forest, and within a few days, be leading a pack of wolves. He’d gain their respect by defeating a bear in hand-to-hand combat using Jiu Jitsu that he learned from a YouTube video. I mean, really, what are the chances this kid doesn’t grow up to be a Navy SEAL? Sure, he disobeyed his parents, but when you’re a go-getter to that degree at such an early age, your future is pretty bright. And most likely includes you growing up to be James Bond or Indiana Jones.

Then again, maybe he’ll just grow up to be a driving instructor.




43 thoughts on “8-Year-Old Man

  1. I read about this! He’s probably going to grow up to become a billionaire one day. Or, collapse under ridiculously high expectations and end up managing at Walmart, but still. He’ll always be the 8 year old who learned how to drive via YouTube. Not many people can say that. Lol!

    Nice post! ☺

    Liked by 1 person

  2. At one of my first jobs (it was an ice cream place) a drunk man and his kids came in for ice cream. They left and we watched them drive off as the youngest sat on his dads lap, smiling and waving to us, while he controlled the wheel! He couldn’t have been over 6 years old. Of course we called the police lol

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Mr. Saucebox, thank you for your follow on If You Ask Me, and I will return your follow with one of my own. I think you have a niche with your blog, and you should keep working on it. It took me 5 years to work out what my blog is, and I hope you keep doing it. I know lots of folks who give up. I’ll be checking in every now and then.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. What a great blog, it definitely gave me the dose of humor I needed for the day! Your piece on karma is excellent too. I remember reading about this kid when this first happened and similarly thinking he is going to grow up pretty awesome.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. These days an 8 year old has a mind of an 18 year old 🤔. On the other hand, I have a 6 year old munchkin who has a mind of an 18 year old when it comes to getting herself out of trouble.😁

    Liked by 1 person

  6. That was really awesome. I never would’ve thought that was even possible considering I’m not sure if many 8 year old’s would be tall enough to reach the pedals but maybe he’s just a beast of an 8 year old, who eats his spinach everyday ;). Anyway, Saucebox, thanks for sharing your site with me. Hopefully, I can continue to entertain you with my writing as well as we follow each other. Also, I finally chose my picture so it might look different than you saw before.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. About the only thing he didn’t do was rob a bank to get the money to pay for the cheeseburgers – love that the cops waited to bust him. You’re hysterical; love your humor and outlook (and I love your site’s name and header line). Keep it comin’!

    Liked by 1 person

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