Over the weekend, I went out to the bars with some of my friends. We did not want to pay the price of an Uber, (knowing our wallets would already be taking a beating at the bars) and were in desperate need of a designated driver.  My sister decided to be the one to make Christmas come early. She wanted to bring her friend so they could use their fake I.D.s. They were supplying the ride, so I had no complaints.

 

We make it downtown and head to the bar we planned on staying at for the night. After waiting in line for a few minutes and people-watching all the drunkies, (always fun to do, until I become one of them, that is) we make it to the front of the line. My sister’s friend’s fake I.D. works like a charm, and my sister is up next. She hands the bouncer the card, and he’s already looking at her skeptically. My sister is 19 years old, but is fairly small, so this was expected. The bouncer scans the I.D. and looks at it for a while, then stares back at my sister. My sister is starting to look nervous. Being the douche that I am, I watch on excitedly, thinking, this oughta be good.

 

He asks her, “When were you born?”

 

My sister answers correctly according to the fake I.D.’s info.

 

The bouncer looks unimpressed. He then asks, “So you’re from Illinois?” (We aren’t from Illinois.)

 

“Yes,” she responds nervously.

 

“What’s the capital of Illinois?”

 

I chuckle in my head, as I know he has gotten her. She looks back at me with defeat spread across her face. I watch on, curious to see how this goes down.

 

“Uh, Chicago?” she responds, her voice void of all confidence.

 

Ouch…I think in my head. I turn to the bouncer, a grin on my face as I wait for him to laugh at her and possibly confiscate her I.D. But, he pauses for a few seconds. As I look at him, I realize something.

 

This dude has no clue what the capital of Illinois is either!

 

He gives her a look of approval, nods his head, and hands back her I.D.! I can barely hold in my laughter as he checks mine.

 

“You probably catch kids all the time with the capital question, huh?” I say.

 

He nods his head and smiles at me.

 

“I swear, these underage kids man! They always think they’re sneaky, but I get ’em every time!”

 

I can only wonder what would’ve happened if my sister had said “Springfield”.

 

 

If you guys enjoyed this, re-blog and spread the word! Thanks for reading!

 

 

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91 thoughts on “Fake I.D.

  1. Hahaha nice post πŸ‘ I love you dog that you used as profile, he’s so cute πŸ€— Hey, nice to meet you and thank you so much for the follow 😊 I just had to come and see what’s going down on your blog tooπŸ€—

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Reblogged this on Zawmb'yee Nuje and commented:
    [It’s difficult to learn the customs. I once teleported directly into a bar, but that scared too many people and I’m not actually supposed to do that unless it’s an emergency. But then, when standing on line, I have to remind myself to always lie. Once, the bouncer asked my age so I told the truth which was that I’m 500 years old. That was a problem because I look like I’m 15. I went back to the caves. — Zawmb’yee Nuje]

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Love this story! I’ve never had a fake ID, but I had a friend who used to use them to go to raves all the time. I’m 25, but I look 20 so whenever I go to the bar, I’m not surprised I’m asked a bunch of questions. I’m a regular at the bar in my hometown but when I go off island, I’m always being asked if my ID is fake. πŸ˜‚πŸ‘ŒπŸ½

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I still remember the name on a fake I.D. I borrowed fifty years ago. (Yikes.) It was Ilgemara Lillcox! One didn’t dare overindulge and then try to pronounce that name. Enjoyed your story. Well told.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Lol!
    The bouncer had the nerve to say that the capital question always catches them off guard, I wonder how many he actually has caught.
    Great story!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Honestly, I would love to be a stand-up comedian, I’ve thought about it a few times! Maybe I’ll have to give it a go in the near future! Thanks so much for the feedback! πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌ

      Liked by 1 person

  6. This is hilarious. Would be lovely to experience this in Lagos. Sadly the city does not tolerate fake cards or licenses. Being a host to various tribes of Nigeria, everyone knows were you are from. All thanks to NYSC. Lovely post

    Liked by 2 people

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