Every dad reaches that age where they get up bright and early, full of excitement, to get out and mow that lawn. Or clean those gutters. Or fix that loose board on the fence.
All dads get to that point in life where they use any excuse to head outside, play some of their old tunes from their heyday, and rock those freshly-cleaned New Balance running shoes.
They act like a fireman who has just been called to a house fire, throwing on their blue jeans, tucking their shirt in, and sliding down the pole out into the garage to fiddle with something on their workbench. They are the warriors of suburbia, the masters of upkeep.
Hell, I even saw my neighbors dad clipping his grass with scissors once! Now that’s dedication, a true suburban soldier.
Just a few days ago my sister and I were home from college, and my sister told my dad one of her tail lights was out. My dad flew from the couch like a rookie athlete who was just called from the bench to play in his first professional game, his face gleaming with excitement. He didn’t even try to hide it. He couldn’t wait to get out there and fix that tail light.
Before he could make it out into the garage, my sister explained how her window wasn’t working properly either.
My dad couldn’t even speak, he just pranced into the garage not to be seen the rest of the night.
My dad will be up at 8:00 a.m. on the weekends, picking up the leaves, cutting the grass, edging it, sweeping up bark, checking the PH levels in the pool, absolutely anything that doesn’t need to be done.
Sometimes, I think we only have a dog so it will poop on the lawn and give my dad something to do on Saturdays.
A couple days ago, my mom told my dad the barbecue was having issues.
There was my dad’s Sunday.
Trips to Home Depot are at least three hours in length. Stopping to read the label on every single Socket wrench and pipe connector is an absolute necessity.
Seeing my dad walk into a Home Depot is like watching a little kid enter a Toys R Us for the first time. A fat kid walking into an ice-cream shop. He short circuits when he first enters, not knowing where to begin. Every Pressure Washer must be thoroughly inspected, every tool set evaluated, and god forbid his Leaf Blower is outdated.
We won’t even be painting anything and he will have to check out the new paint colors like they are the latest edition of a luxury SUV. My dad is a backyard commando and Home Depot is his hardware armory.
So, I guess we start out doing arts and crafts projects in grade school, and we grow up to do dad projects in our adulthood. It’s just the natural evolution of life. Whether world peace is achieved, or the world ends in nuclear warfare, one thing is always certain.
Dads will forever be there to make sure backyards and garages all across the planet are in tip-top shape, not a blade of grass or screwdriver out of place.